cOmbåt

war zOne. attempting tO prepare fOr cOmbat. cOnfrOntatiOns tO make. matters tO resOlve. misunderstandings tO clear up. why dO i care sO much abOut hOw Others think Of me? why dO i have tO cOnstantly prOve them wrOng? why dO peOple harp On the bad and nOt fOcus On the gOOd? feels like i've been cOndemned. banished tO basement 18 Of hell. it's bad enOugh tO be judged nOt based On merits. wOrse is tO be abandOned by thOse whOm i hOld sO clOse tO heart. dOn't knOw if i can feel lOusier than this.

thanx cuz... thOugh we're nOt that chummy but yOur patience & understanding makes talking tO yOu such a breeze. prObably we're quite alike, that's why. thanx fOr listening. really appreciate it. *hugz* lOve ya

håir äffair

snip snip. lOcks Of hair gOne in 15mins. lOOk the same yet feel quite different. lightness Of the head. shampOO advertisement mOment. jO wOuld prObably be reminded Of thOse dOve-girls-imitatiOn-days. perhaps i can ask my hunk tO "run his fingers thrOugh my hair"... sO that i'd feel "really lOved"... *rOlls eyes*

~*接受*~ 梁靜茹

彷佛上一分钟 你还陪在我左右
还以为我们会开花结果
我还记得玫瑰色天空 却模糊了我们的脸孔
哼过的歌到底是什么内容

彷佛已经自由 下一刻我变成风
吹过你的领空 差点失控 回忆在夜里闹得很凶
我想我可以明白你所有的痛
想让你知道我懂 却担心言不由衷

我们都接受 一定是彼此不够成熟
在爱情里分不了轻重
诚实得过了头 不能退后也无法向前走
爱是一个自私的念头 把寂寞消除的理由
剩下的那些感动 能记得多久

siLënt night

nO. nOt the xmas carOl. just a typical night. quiet. lOnely. with the cOmpany Of a CPU, mOnitOr, keybOard, and whOever's lOgged On tO MSN. few, there are. feel sOmewhat like an inflammed zit. nOt the best Of analOgies, i knOw... pent-up energy prOtesting tO be released. LöS+ Once again. need sOme time Off tO think things thrOugh. tO set priOrities straight. tO enrich the pathetic life. what dO yOu dO with tOO much time On hand? watch sOppy kOrean tv dramas tO get all teary and melanchOlic? (bleah... yet it wOrks at thOse lOw pOints) pathetic peOple watching pathetically sad shOws. why? tO prOve that life dOesn't get any wOrse? it dOes. if Only i can just get away frOm it all. just bOOk myself an airline ticket, fly Off sOmewhere. nO One wOuld nOtice. my bOyfriend wOuld prObably think it's ETM. my friends wOuldn't even realise anything's wrOng. that is, IF they try tO cOntact me at all. hOw can One allOw One's life tO get sO wrOng? beginnings Of sOme alienatiOn prOcess.

cråviñgs

prObably due tO the bland diet that i had nO chOice but tO adhere tO. nOt tO say the meagre pOrtiOns Of unappetising, ungastrOnOmic fOOd i had tO put up with due tO variOus factOrs:

1) such a pain tO swallOw
2) can't stOmach much fOOd withOut feeling nauseOus
3) tOO tiring a task tO chew (with 1 side Of the jaw, mind yOu)
4) mum's cOOking has negative cOrrelatiOn with flavOurful fOOd

craving fOr sOme strOng tasting sOup. prawn mee sOup Or maybe tOm yam. sOme spice. salivating while the mind fantasises abOut glOriOus fOOd at a rate beyOnd cOmprehensiOn. whO cares? deprivatiOn sucks!

irOñed Oüt

sOme time put aside tO blOg eversince bad news settled.
tO set the recOrd straight:-

facts
1) yOurs truly dOes nOt have an extra wisdOm tOOth
2) i have FOUR extra teeth
3) ONE emerged
4) THREE embedded
5) ALL tO be extracted via OperatiOn *gasps!* (yes, i knOw)
6) thOse are in additiOn tO the FOUR wisdOm teeth which i was suppOsed tO remOve frOm my Oral cavity. wOnderful.
7) simple mental calculatiOn: suffice tO churn Out the number EIGHT
8) there yOu gO, i have tO remOve EIGHT teeth
9) all pretty much nOn-functiOnal
10) damn it

mOrphëd

sOme kind Of nOrmalcy brOught abOut by ill health. clOckwOrk readjustment. transfOrmatiOn. i'm nO lOnger nOcturnal. premature cOngratulatiOns?¿

aLLêviåtiOñ!!!

been Over a week since. nOt any better. wOuld i trade the dizzy spells & nauseOusness fOr pain? perhaps. i dOn't knOw anymOre. pasture always seems greener On the Other side. pOssible extractiOn Of wisdOm teeth cOme mOnday. all five. yeap. five. WTF. such fOrtune... Of all things extra, i HAD tO have an extra tOOth. an extra wisdOm tOOth, tO be exact. fear & dread fOr the impending surgery...

2005

happy new year peeps. pretty irOnic judging frOm hOw '05 started fOr myself. untimely hOrrOr. pain. agOny. appetite lOss. pills-pOpping. tears-sOaked pillOw. wOuld Only find Out what's wrOng at the dOc's tOm. mOOd fOr nOthing. such discOmfOrt. man,... why?!