39.1۫C

nOt enOugh tO cause irrepairable neurOlOgical damage. ample cause fOr whining in agOny. it's thOse times when temperature's burning up while the bOdy shivers uncOntrOllably. cOld fever... OxymOrOnic?

acute pain when attempting tO swallOw. might lOse weight if prOlOnged. nO sudden mOvements in avOidance Of scenariO Of a swelled up brain smashing intO cOnfined walls Of the skull. pppwwuuaacccckk

can nO lOnger blOg. hurts. paracetamOl. senses-numbing.

êve Of evë

last wOrkday 2004. hOOrah. nursing a splitting headache & whatever-induced tOOthache. gastric attack. queasy tummy. what a way tO end the year. well... can't cOmplain fOr there are many in wOrse predicament. majOr earthquake; massive, successive tsunami. reminded me Of malthus' theOry. natural phenOmena tO keep pOpulation grOwth in check. hmm...

xmås äway

day One

time: clOse tO 2200hrs
venue: bOOn lay shOpping centre
destinatiOn: puduraya, kuala lumpur, malaysia

uneventful ride. tOO tired tO get Off fOr supper @ stOppage place

day twO

time: arOund 0330hrs
venue: puduraya, kuala lumpur, malaysia

bumped arOund. cyn's cuz picked us up arOund 0400hrs. supper cum breakfast - pOrridge, raw sliced fish, steamed chicken. tOOk a ride tO "little genting".



fOOled arOund at the playgrOund. escOrted tO the cuz's place. rOunds Of bridge. little sleep.

time: arOund 1130hrs
venue: sOmewhere in KL

brunch. braised pOrk, rice, bak kut teh.


cOOl advertising fOr energizer battery!

time: arOund 1400hrs
venue: the melia hOtel, kuala lumpur, malaysia


view frOm rOOm


relaxing sOak in the bath tub. heavenly.

time: 1515hrs - 1930hrs

KTV sessiOn. psychOtic episOde. cause(s) unknOwn. lack Of sleep? prObably. bOred? maybe. hOrmOnal imbalance? mOst definitely.

time: 1930hrs - 2100hrs
venue: clueless?!? walking distance frOm hOtel

dinner: hei mian, hOr fun, grilled chicken wings. back tO rOOm.

time: 2200hrs - 0030hrs
battlegrOund: bukit bintang stretch



snOw spray "fights". alliance fOrmed. attacks frOm everywhere. chaOtic. crazy. lOads Of fun, fOam, humidity, festive cheer. superb, 'cept fOr the Oversensitive nOse Of mine. tOOk turns tO shOwer. retired pretty early.

day three

time: 0900hrs




washed up. "internatiOnal" breakfast buffet.

time: 1200hrs - 0000hrs
destinatiOn: puduraya

gathered. braved scOrching hOt sun. gOt return cOach tix. KFC. shOpped @ sOgO. rOde On train. mOre shOpping @ bukit bintang stretch. trip tO chinatOwn. cab ride back tO hOtel. ached all Over. acute pain On sOles. mOre sOaking in tub. hellO, dreamland.


weird apartment we chanced upOn


KL sky


KL tOwer

day fOur

mOre sOaking. brunch @ times square, LJS. checked Out. depOsited bags @ lObby. mOre shOpping. as usual, nOthing fancied me. argh. dinner @ A&W. wOOhOO! curly fries, cOney dOg, rOOtbeer flOat!




suppOsed departure time fOr cOach: 1800hrs. actual time: 1930hrs. jam. rest stOp. reached destinatiOn JB: 0042hrs. just missed the Only cheap transport link back hOme. damn. nO chOice but tO settle fOr alternative arrangement. rOde in an mpv tO m'sian custOms. travelled entire stretch Of causeway On fOOt. cleared s'pOre custOms. cab ride hOme. 0220hrs.

1400hrs. back in Office. rats.

ñOt Lëaviñg On å jêtpLäne

five hOurs lOng cOach ride tO KL. nOt such a bad idea tO spend xmas away frOm hOme. a pleasant break frOm the nOrm. leave behind all dreaded stuff fOr sOme well-deserved partying. it's gOnna be a wild xmas weekend, i say. praying hard fOr clean tOilets thOugh... sO lOng nOw. i'll be back...

åLL iñ a däy’s wOrk

an Open Letter

fOr all the hurt that i've caused. dOn't assume things have been easy On my side. nO matter hOw negative anyOne thinks Of me, hOw misunderstOOd i am, hOw peOple make light Of my eccentricity... thOughts can't be cOntrOlled nOr can judgements be prevented. it's an inevitable human activity that peOple Often get sucked intO. it's fine... fOr years thrOugh childhOOd and teens thOse adOpted facades had tO be abandOned. it's nO lOnger pOssible tO fOrce a smile while the inner wOrld erOded away. gO ahead. judge me. yOu dOn't even knOw whO i am.

fairy tales, happy-endings... building dreams On clOuds. desperate attempts tO create sOmething sO different frOm life itself. prOviding initial relief, yet becOming a lifebuOy as desperate measure fOr survival. i was a survivOr. a lOne warriOr On battle grOunds. sO accustOmed. refused assistance. rejected sympathy. perhaps a self-punishment Of sOrts.

psychOtic episOdes. i have tO deal with them & bear with hOw Others think Of me at the same time? it's nO wOnder i'm suicidal.

‘tiS thê SëåsOñ...

my my my. jOlly gOOd mOOd has pOunced On me unexpectedly. MY trademark i guess. dOwn with the bOurgeOisie!!! S.A.L.E. hOw thOse fOur letters cOmbine tO fOrm such a universal term adOred by the many cheapskate peOple Out there. muah included. hOw that term has been cOined? beats me. but the meaning it has acquired? splendid... gentle blOws tO the plastic. less threatening tO the bank accOunt. SALE=CHEAP. unless it's the designer gOOds yOu've been eyeing, then SALE=CHEAPer. retail therapy. the tried and tested hypOthesis. sO, it's in fact a theOry. a theOry stands unless it can be prOven wrOng. cOnclusiOn: it's a theOry. dOn't knOw what the heck i'm yakking abOut. dOn't care. just satisfied with the great deals i've "negOtiated". wished i cOuld affOrd mOre purchases thOugh. but alas, nOw being in the lOwer rungs Of the cOrpOrate wOrld? such extrangances are impOssible.

$ wëLL-spêñt?

gOt swayed tO part with $60. nOt much sales-tactic necessary. fact is that i dO need a full bOdy massage. tired Out bOdy, mind, & sOul. weakest link, i suppOse. thing is, when shOuld the appOintment be made? cOuld One sessiOn Of arOma-massage-therapy dO miracle tO my battered bOdy? we'll see... the trial head & shOulder massage was gOOd thOugh. feel less tensed up. whO knOws? perhaps it's all in the mind...

夜

1点29分

12月12曰2004年

只有寂寞与黑夜的陪伴.
泪汪汪的双眼又有谁能看得见?
原本以为自己有多坚强,
都是装出来的吧?
回到过去? 別妄想了.
美梦终归是梦. 梦醒后该如何是好?

总是开不了口让你知道.
就只是那简单几句, 我办不到.
整顆心旋在半空, 被无奈折腾着.
到底是为了什么?

复杂的人生是躲不过的...
別放开我的手.
別让我看着你的背影, 离我儿去.

&@#%!

better days ahead. yeah... right.

brrr...

freezing cOld. gOt Out Of a cOnference call half an hOur agO. mind's still muddled. infO OverlOad. need the lOO nOw. brb. (4.42pm)

damn. sOmeOne beat me tO it. gOtta wait. have tO endure the cOnstant pressure within my bladder. it's tOugh. bearly hOlding On. Oh man! why am i still drinking water? bad mOve. irreversible. (4.45pm)

(4.54pm) finally eased the tensed muscles. mmm... brOwnie with chOcOlate chip & nuts tOpping. a treat frOm a visitOr. dOn't knOw whO. dOn't really care. i've gOt wOrk tO dO. tOOk the initiative tO draw up a prOgress-tracking dOc. half an hOur tO the weekend nOw! better gO! keeping fingers crOssed fOr better times ahead. activity-filled weekends, jOb Offer... (5.04pm)

Circus äct

Australian Circus @ Clarke Quay - 9th Dec 2004, Thursday

FOC perfOrmance. cOOl. started @ 730pm. reached clOse tO 8. Only caught the casts clOwning arOund tO typical clOwn/circus melOdy. the sOle picture: gives an idea Of hOw late we were.

IQ tëst

Ok. an insightful linguist. wOnder hOw they came up with such a cOnclusiOn. dOes sOund like me thOugh. insightful. yes. linguist. well... nOt exactly, but i dO get immersed in the beauty Of language sOmetimes. hOw mere wOrds can evOke a tOrrent Of emOtiOns, hOw vulgarities in cantOnese still sOund sO sOOthing tO the ears, hOw peOple naturally adOpt babytalk while cOmmunicating with infants/tOddlers, hOw chicken-and-duck talk evOlve intO useful hybrids... and the list gOes On. amazing. insightful linguist. yes. that very well cOvered up the lack Of enthusiasm tOwards Other subjects. my faculties have nO space whatsOever fOr stOrage Of, say, mathematical cOncepts. i was stumped when required tO calculate the length Of a side Of a triangle. i simply fOrgOt the fOrmula! all i cOuld remember was area = ½ x b x h (right?!?). fOr a right-angled triangle, that is. right? i just dOn't have a knack at math. used tO lOve geOmetry & simultaneOus equatiOns thOugh. ah well... nOt impOrtant.

pfff......!

i tOOk an IQ test.

yeah. that's hOw bOred i am...

analysis: my intellectual type -- Insightful Linguist. this means i am highly intelligent *sniggers* and have the natural fluency Of a writer and the visual and spatial strengths Of an artist. these skills cOntribute tO my creative and expressive mind.

believe it Or nOt.

åbändOñêd

great. just great. my incentive? twO wOrds: smashed mercilessly. hOw i hate last minute cancellatiOns Of plans. agOny-inducing. never mind... went shOpping alOne after all. thOu shalt nOt let thyself be struck dOwn by disappOintments. fOrgOt all my shakespearean crap. Oh well... nOt impOrtant.

great. papercut. itch & pain. mOre sO Of the fOrmer. argh!

great. can't get hOld Of my hunk. that pig. still merry-making in dreamland. wake up yOu blOOdy idiOt! *spOken in a(n) english/hOngky-tOng accent, as yOu wish* have Only tOnight tO lighten up a glOOmy day. everything's gOing haywire. why dO i get the feeling that the evening wOn't gO as well as envisiOned?... as always, isn't it?

great. back tO wOrk & pOking my nOse intO Other blOggers' writings.

bLinded

with eyes sO puffed up, what can yOu see?!?

a lOnger lunch. relief frOm semi-permanent imprisOnment. sunlight. vitamin D. didn't skive much, thOugh yakked On the phOne slightly mOre than an hOur with my dearest cuz. (while still dOing wOrk, mind yOu) lOve ya cuz! can't wait tO see ya tOmOrrOw. quick lunch & sOme shOpping. an incentive. a break frOm the mundane. hOur & a half tO gO. shall cOuch pOtatO later. anOther simple pleasure. wOnderful.

lunch in

pretty dull. quiet. lOnely. tired. nOt cOmfy enOugh tO pOwer nap. idled time away... slOw mO. a nice cup Of iced milO atOp the desk. mmmm... simple pleasure indeed. is it pOssible tO stay this way thrOughOut the entire duratiOn Of this assignment? gOd nO. 5 weeks wOuld feel like mOnths if this is the case. Only weekends tO lOOk fOrward tO.

stuck

why Oh why have yOu nOt fOrsaken me? mOnday bLues prOgressed. tuesday bLues repOrted fOr duty. been blOgging sO Often these days. tell-tale signs: superb skills @ eating snakes. incredibly tired. wished i cOuld gO berserk like jack-jack in The Incredibles. hilariOus. irresistably cute. lame. migraine. puffy eyes. messed up hair. are tOO, symptOms. sleep shOrtage. ultimate lifespan reductiOn cOnsequence. ebbing away life, energy.

eät Ŝnakê. anyonë?

yes. skiving. 15 mins after lunch. behind the keypad. seated. bulging tummy. ugly sight. nOt impOssible tO carry On blOgging the rest Of the day. almOst dOne with wOrk On hand. efficiency. yours truly’s middle name @ wOrk.

left: warm glass Of green tea. right: cOnventiOnal mOuse. all arOund: stacks Of papers. belOw: bulging tummy. typical. typically tragic.

tOpic @ lunch. having kids.

2 ladies: “nO kids fOr us. uh-uh. nO, thank yOu”
1 man: “i’m gOnna have another One. the feeling is great!”
1 lady: “One is enOugh”

times have changed. children nO lOnger help Out On farms, nOr @ hOme. nO lOnger dependable, definite security fOr Old age despite decades Of mOnetary, emOtiOnal investments & mental anguish. erOsiOn Of family values & jOys Of simple things in life. the Only cOnsOlatiOn maybe? witnessing the independence Of mOdern wOmen. fighting fOr OUR beliefs. OUR rights. dOwn with patriarchy!!! empOwered. dignified. nevertheless, many are still restrained by cOnventiOns set in histOry. battered wives.

anyway, back tO the tOpic. having kids. yeah. twO is ample.

easier said than dOne. sO much tO cOnsider. tO sacrifice. tO fret abOut. thOse men in white shirt & pants wOuld probably applaud muah fOr heeding their pleas… but i apOlOgise. my decision has nOthing tO dO with yOur crappy campaigns. futile attempts at getting peOple tO prOcreate. it’s regrettably, just a dream… tO have sOme warmth. lOve. a HOME…

pray hard my children wOuld nOt turn Out tO be selfish brats like many Of thOse we already have in sOciety. pests. irksOme.

hübbLe bûbbLè

A common sight in the coffee houses throughout the Middle East is smoking hubble-bubble or “Sheeshah” which is their ancient culture.

Sheeshah: a water pipe used for smoking tobacco leaves. The tobacco leaves are kept on the upper dish which contains hot coals and a long hose is attached to the lower jar which contains water. The smoker inhales through the hose. The smoke of the tobacco leaves is cooled and filtered by the water in the lower jar before being inhaled by the smoker. Instead of the tobacco leaves dried fruits are also smoked by the sheeshah.

åwäy with negativity

think happy thoughts. sOmething i always aspired tO achieve yet it takes tremendOus effort. Oh well, c’est la vie.

cycled On saturday! great eh? excruciatingly humid weather, lOads Of fun nevertheless. magnificence Of nature. wind caressing the face as yOu ride without care, dispensing pent-up energy. wOrking the much-neglected muscles… the lungs… never mind the hyena-like, hearty laughters. such a relief. embrace such pleasure with arms Opened wide. hOw can One nOt lOve this? a feeling that i can dO nO justice tO by attempting tO describe with weak, unsubstantial wOrds. just as nO One can grasp the beauty, the essence, the desirability Of innOcence AND lOve.

fêel the bLuëS…

bOredOm. lOneliness. dreaded feelings. my wOrst fears. hOw fOrtunate it is tO be blessed with umpteen OppOrtunities fOr reuniOns. what cOuld be wOrse than facing bOth, the same instance? rats. wOrking their way tO the sOul even in the cOmpany Of Others. uninvited negativity. deadly traps.

zZzzZzZZzzz

*yawn*

dreadful. but hey, it's friday. read: end Of wOrk week!!! hOOrah. praying fOr better weekends ahead.

sleep shOrtage

Fact: lack Of quality sleep can lead tO irritability, difficulty cOncentrating, pOOr wOrk perfOrmance, dangerOus driving (we knOw whO...), and increased health risks. chrOnic sleep lOss can, tOO, reduce the capacity Of the bOdy tO perform basic metabOlic functiOns such as prOcessing and stOring carbOhydrates, Or regulating hOrmOne secretiOn. hOwever, dO NOT think that these prOvide yOu perfect excuses tO snOOze On... tOO much sleep can lead tO restless nights. accOrding tO sleep researchers, lOng sleepers repOrted more prOblems with falling asleep, waking up during the night, awaking tOO early, feeling "unrefreshed" upOn waking up, and feeling sleepy during the day. 7 tO 8 hours of sleep a night is still cOnsidered the ideal ;o)

ãrgh!

freakin' tired. pissed Off. irritated. annOyed. was suppOsed tO be a great day. damn it. nO cOmments. scarce stOrage Of energy. argh. in need Of a gOOd rest... in need Of a gOOd rest... f&%@ it!

chOcOlate cheeSeCake

bare sight


chOcOlate tOp cOat


up clOse

rebirth

Baby steps; Long strides; Bad falls; Great delights
Foundation on which Chapter 22 resides
Let memories only sweeten, and
Crippling circumstances only strengthen
Weaving out the manificent tapestry of Life

Happy Birthday DarLin'